I think to myself.
And I think that's the problem sometimes. I think to myself too much.
I would just sit there on a long bus journey, looking out if the window as if in a daze, thinking. Going through what has happened recently and how I can make it better.
But many a times, too many a times, I keep making the same dumb decisions over and over again. This is especially true in my Tech and my Heart departments.
Work wise, I got slapped real hard recently and am still recovering from it. Must say I have learnt a lot from it and would definitely be more careful and delligent about it. Let's just hope the bosses sees my ability to recover and learn quickly from this and become a fantastic employee.
I have been blogging a lot recently haven't I? Not too sure why, but every now and then, I would feel the need to blog and that's why you would see this entries. If you have been a long time reader of mine, you might have realized that my style of writing has changed over the years. With the most recent one seeing me writing in plain for all to understand sentences.
I know things would only get better. I just need to make it happen.
I think I can.
No, wrong. It's:
I KNOW I can and I will.
]]>The new year came and went just like that. Had a very tough, insane almost unbearable last few days of 2009.
Believe me when I say is almost unbearable.
New year's eve was kinda relaxing, with the 3 of us just staring out into the distance looking at the fireworks. Although we all knew how nice it would have been if our other halves were there, but the fact that all three of us were there was enough.
Work went back to normal with the few of us always in the office. Sure hope this drought would be done soon.
To be frank, I scare myself sometimes by the silly and irratinal things I do. I know a certain oblivion is ahead and I still just drive on.
I'm suppose to be the problem solver, I ain't suppose to be the problem.
Oh bother.
]]>Had a sudden urge to blog. So here I am. Nothing really I wanna blog about for this entry, other than the mindless blabber.
Random thoughts: staying in town is good. You are near everything. And cab fares are cheaper too, provided you don't hit any ERPs.
Yet another random thought, 'All 3 of us are the same, we all have one kinda attitude.' i reckon that's why we are such good friends. We goof around, scream and shout at each other, laugh at each other and the jokes. But deep down, we know we care frantically about each other.
Okay now, was suppose to be a random urge to blog about nothing. Seems like I've got quite a fair bit going on.
]]>Jasper's new place is on a whooping 25th foor. We caught the countdown fireworks on the 50th floor. The fireworks were mesmerizing.
It's been a while since the 3 of us spend some time on our own. And the simple countdown to 2010 was more than enough. :)
Am now lying on my bed at Jasper's. Dan's making strange mumbling noises and Jasper's sleeping with his comical face on.
Got to love them. Seriously. Haha.
]]>2009's been a year of lessons.
Be it lessons of human relations or with colleagues. Or lessons about life as a whole. It was also a year (at least in the last quarter) that saw me becoming more comfortable with myself.
There are aspects that I'm still working on. There are some aspects that I deem as secondary and would only get to them later. Give me time and you would see.
In the year 2009, I fell in love. Those moments, although short, was one hella of rush. Like fireworks, it was damn pretty and mesmerizing but it was also darn short. I just realised I just repeated myself twice.
In the year 2009, I made new friends and forged stronger friendships with the ones that has always been with me. Its really nice to see familiar faces after a while.
In the year 2009, I made a career switch. A major career switch. Left the safe harbors of my previous office and headed out towards the unknown. The new job has its fair share of woes, but it was made easier with insane and sane colleagues. Wouldn't have survived it if not for them. In the short span of 3 months (and counting), I have seen so much and learnt so much too. I am sure that there are so much more to learn in the future.
In the year 2009, the family saw 2 new additons. The first one was Richie. My mum and dad rescued him while he was roaming around the neighborhood with his doggy friend. Didn't manage to catch the other dog. Kinda feel sad for the other one. He's now very happy with Nicole, chasing balls and barking whenever we get home.
The second addition is my Brother's soon to be wife! Feels kinda weird initially to have her around the place, but we are getting along mighty fine now. I think she's nice.
So, my 2009 in all its naked glory. Kinda not too much if you looked at it like that. But the entry you read just now took one year in the making and it better be good.
2010 here we come!
]]>These days I've been thinking if somehow somewhere, I lost myself in all the things that have been going on around me.
Day in day out, I'm thinking of work. Thinking of how I can climb that ladder faster and how I can make my mark in this industry. Call it the hunger for social status if you want. But seriously, we all need the money to survive. And if I want that kinda of money to substain my lifestyle and my family, I have to succeed.
i look at my friends sometimes and wonder to myself how great would it be if I did not have to pay for the household bills. I would be able to fend for myself. But then again, I know that it is only right that I am doing so. And I'm gladly doing it, or at least I ain't complaining about it. I think.
i see my friends up the social ladder or with people they love and I think to myself, 'I'm sure I'll be there some day as well. I just need to work hard and be patient.'. I just wished I'm there now. But. Oh well.
There is so much I wanna do and can do.
i know I can and its just a matter of time.
I just don't like the wait.
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]]>Yeah, the subject says it all. I'm tired of myself at this point of my life.
Now don't get me wrong, I still love myself as much. Its just.. Hmm.. How should I put this?
Like some song's lyric: "I rather break mirrors than promises". Sounds simple enough, but it means alot. The first person that I am letting down is myself. If I can't even get by myself, let alone the issue at hand.
i'm sure I will get through this somehow.
I'm just tired of myself for the time being.
Tired.
]]>Somehow, I can't help but feel this way. A strange kinda out of place feeling.
I don't really wanna move on, but if the situation proves otherwise, I might jolly well be the first to move.
Get my drift?
]]>